24 f single

Of late there has just been this constant zoom-in on the fact that one my age to be married or heading that way. I'm not anywhere near getting married right now, and am quite OK with it most times. Everyone else seems way too concerned about my single status than I am. But more than the preoccupation by those I know, it seems that it what is expected but the broader community.

So i get back to Cape Town after being in the abroad for 10 months and the first thing people as is if I met someone over there.. umm..err.. NO.. sorry to disappoint you! Next they have this burning desire to find me a Mr. Right or Mr. Anybody so it seems.

Now my cousin feels its her duty to hook me up, and makes attempt to hook me up with someone I'm not remotely interested in, gives him my number, brings him to my home.. shame.. the guy is really sweet, but I cant help that nothing in him interests me.. not in the slightest.

Then I start this school to do a one year diploma and the majority of the class are fresh out of matric, and I sit next to this girl and she is asking me about what I've done and the rest. After telling her about my studies and travelling etc she goes on to say "Its a wonder you're not interested in getting married" .. to which I go off on a polite tangent telling her that one should not just marry for the sake of marriage..blah blah.. this could, if I took a deeper look at it, have been a reply on the defense. So clearly an 18 year old thinks a 24 year old should be married!

And now if that is not enough, this aunty who I get a lift home with from school has a 6 year old daughter that she picks up from school on our way home, the cutest little girl ever. Now at that age, it never seems inappropriate to ask anything.. so we pull up at my house and she says "are you going to get a lift with us everyday" to which I reply "I'm not sure, but maybe". She then says "Does aunty not have a husband?"

OK now this is enough to tell me that in the eyes of even little children, the accepted norm is for someone my age to be married. Should I be concerned? Should I be out searching for 'THE ONE' which according to another 'school of thought' will come when least expected and not looking! So what is the deal?

I always used to be so concerned about the whole marriage story. When I was younger, I used to say to myself that I wanted to be married by 25. I will be 25 in less than 3 weeks time. So clearly this is not going to happen. Why do we feel the need to go according to the clock set my societal expectations? With this said, I don't want to be married by 25! I don't feel all distraught by the fact that I am not in a relationship that should be headed to marriage.. This not saying that I don't want to get married, should it come my way, I would be most happy, but what bothers me is that it bothers others..

Now with my girl cousins on my mums side there are 6 of us that are 21 years old and over. 4 of which are married and have just had their first lot of babies, and the other one is about to get engaged.. and you ask where the pressure is coming from? Now having this doesn't help either.

So at one of these cousins' baby's name giving this Saturday, I once again had the questions of am I seeing anyone, do I have a boyfriend. Not that it phases me anymore..but it does concern me that people are feeling this sense of pity maybe? And maybe this is why there is this constant attempt to find someone for the 'poor single girl'

Then what got my blood boiling this morning was an sms from my cousin, yup, the same one who tried hooking me up with the guy I'm not interested in. The sms read as follows: Do you want to be involved in a Muslim match making group, My friend mailed me and asked me if i have single girl cousins. And he wants to add them to the database because their are quite a few guys involved already. If you are interested you must give details of the type of guy/qualities you want. But also sport and other interests. So, if you interested let me know. And be specific. I will send your details to him and then they arrange it.

Now are single people special needs kids? I mean one jokes around and says "Don't you have nice guy friends for me.." or to hooked up friends " Does he (their bf) have cute single cousins" .. but really now!! I was quite offended/insulted by that sms, and hence the post.

Ya OK, some people say, give anything a chance and you don't have to marry them or you don't have to even go out with them. Are these people joining 'the database' to even get to know the person, or is just the last desperate attempt to get married.

I just said to a friend of mine, after telling her about this sms, that I'm not that desperate... come to think of it.. I'm not desperate at all, and yes that may seem like the superficial answer of someone that hasn't given this a thought and maybe a closed minded approach to the offer.. but I do know what I want. And should I come to the end of my line, where I feel that just being is not getting me to a point I want to be then maybe..just maybe I would consider 'help'. But right now, as I stand, its not something that I feel has any degree of urgency. Not like I've been in and out of relationships, not like I've been wanting to get married for years.. for goodness sake.. im a 24 year old single female.. what is so wrong with that!!???

I'l just carry on in my merry way.. and let the rest of the world worry about my singledom.

That's all I have to say for now.. I may add a Chapter 2 to all of this.